The NIV 365 Day Devotional
Our Thirst for Scandal
I have to admit it: I’m a scandalmonger. I have an insatiable appetite for having the scoop, the inside track, the story behind the story. I love knowing what no one else knows.
There’s a sick kind of power in knowing about other people’s problems. Maybe we’re drawn to gossip and controversy because seeing what’s wrong with others somehow makes us feel better about ourselves.
But then something strange happens: our perspective becomes skewed. I find that when I know too much about a conflict between spouses, that’s all I can see. Or when I know one of my friends is fighting with a coworker, that’s all we talk about. And in time, it isn’t just my view of the people involved that gets messed up, but it’s also my view of people in general. Not only do I not feel good about myself, but I don’t feel good about anyone.
Dealing with false teachers was one of Paul’s main concerns in his letter to Titus. Their effect on the church was both doctrinal and relational. While there are some sins that hurt us as individuals, an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels tears apart communities. It pits us against each other. It makes us suspicious of each other. And Paul made it clear that we should stay clear of it.
An unhealthy interest in strife can also infect a marriage. Whether it’s one partner’s penchant for being an insider or the couple’s tendency to argue about every little detail of life, we would do well to heed Paul’s advice and break out of those destructive habits.
One couple I know—let’s call them Carla and Jim—has a reputation among their friends as “the Bickersons.” Sadly, there’s a good deal of truth in that reputation. Jim and I are strong-willed and opinionated. We don’t hesitate to tell each other when the other’s wrong, has made a mistake or is doing something we wouldn’t. Sometimes we catch ourselves before our bickering becomes a habit, but now and then we devolve into weeks of sniping and griping. Before long, we don’t feel good about each other, our marriage or ourselves.
It’s easy to focus our attention on the negative, whether it’s in our partner, our marriage or our friends. But we have been created for something better. We are meant to shine God’s light into the lives of others. There will be times when we must step into painful conversations to offer our love and support to friends who are struggling. But God’s light illuminates the dark places. It offers the hope of rescue and renewal. And every time we join in slander, gossip or petty arguments, we dim that light a little.
That’s a lesson we scandalmongers can’t learn soon enough.
- In what ways do we indulge in scandalmongering? How do we harm ourselves or others by doing that?
- Let’s set some boundaries regarding how we talk about our marital problems with friends. How much information is too much?
- Who are the people we both trust with this kind of information? What people are off-limits?
- How can our marriage be a source of light for others? What are our strengths as a couple? What do we bring to our church and community that helps build it up rather than break it down?
Taken from the NIV Couple’s Devotional Bible.