God Is Serious Business

A report on the problem of Nineveh, the way God gave Nahum of Elkosh to see it:

2-6 God is serious business.
    He won’t be trifled with.
He avenges his foes.
    He stands up against his enemies, fierce and raging.
But God doesn’t lose his temper.
    He’s powerful, but it’s a patient power.
Still, no one gets by with anything.
    Sooner or later, everyone pays.
Tornadoes and hurricanes
    are the wake of his passage,
Storm clouds are the dust
    he shakes off his feet.
He yells at the sea: It dries up.
    All the rivers run dry.
The Bashan and Carmel mountains shrivel,
    the Lebanon orchards shrivel.
Mountains quake in their roots,
    hills dissolve into mud flats.
Earth shakes in fear of God.
    The whole world’s in a panic.
Who can face such towering anger?
    Who can stand up to this fierce rage?
His anger spills out like a river of lava,
    his fury shatters boulders.

7-10 God is good,
    a hiding place in tough times.
He recognizes and welcomes
    anyone looking for help,
No matter how desperate the trouble.
    But cozy islands of escape
He wipes right off the map.
    No one gets away from God.
Why waste time conniving against God?
    He’s putting an end to all such scheming.
For troublemakers, no second chances.
    Like a pile of dry brush,
Soaked in oil,
    they’ll go up in flames.

A Think Tank for Lies

11 Nineveh’s an anthill
    of evil plots against God,
A think tank for lies
    that seduce and betray.

12-13 And God has something to say about all this:
    “Even though you’re on top of the world,
With all the applause and all the votes,
    you’ll be mowed down flat.

“I’ve afflicted you, Judah, true,
    but I won’t afflict you again.
From now on I’m taking the yoke from your neck
    and splitting it up for kindling.
I’m cutting you free
    from the ropes of your bondage.”

* * *

14 God’s orders on Nineveh:

“You’re the end of the line.
    It’s all over with Nineveh.
I’m gutting your temple.
    Your gods and goddesses go in the trash.
I’m digging your grave. It’s an unmarked grave.
    You’re nothing—no, you’re less than nothing!”

15 Look! Striding across the mountains—
    a messenger bringing the latest good news: peace!
A holiday, Judah! Celebrate!
    Worship and recommit to God!
No more worries about this enemy.
    This one is history. Close the books.

Israel’s Been to Hell and Back

The juggernaut’s coming!
    Post guards, lay in supplies.
Get yourselves together,
    get ready for the big battle.

* * *

God has restored the Pride of Jacob,
    the Pride of Israel.
Israel’s lived through hard times.
    He’s been to hell and back.

3-12 Weapons flash in the sun,
    the soldiers splendid in battle dress,
Chariots burnished and glistening,
    ready to charge,
A spiked forest of brandished spears,
    lethal on the horizon.
The chariots pour into the streets.
    They fill the public squares,
Flaming like torches in the sun,
    like lightning darting and flashing.
The Assyrian king rallies his men,
    but they stagger and stumble.
They run to the ramparts
    to stem the tide, but it’s too late.
Soldiers pour through the gates.
    The palace is demolished.
Soon it’s all over:
    Nineveh stripped, Nineveh doomed,
Maids and slaves moaning like doves,
    beating their breasts.
Nineveh is a tub
    from which they’ve pulled the plug.
Cries go up, “Do something! Do something!”
    but it’s too late. Nineveh’s soon empty—nothing.
Other cries come: “Plunder the silver!
    Plunder the gold!
A bonanza of plunder!
    Take everything you want!”
Doom! Damnation! Desolation!
    Hearts sink,
    knees fold,
    stomachs retch,
    faces blanch.
So, what happened to the famous
    and fierce Assyrian lion
And all those cute Assyrian cubs?
    To the lion and lioness
Cozy with their cubs,
    fierce and fearless?
To the lion who always returned from the hunt
    with fresh kills for lioness and cubs,
The lion lair heaped with bloody meat,
    blood and bones for the royal lion feast?

* * *

13 “Assyria, I’m your enemy,”
    says God-of-the-Angel-Armies.
“I’ll torch your chariots. They’ll go up in smoke.
    ‘Lion Country’ will be strewn with carcasses.
The war business is over—you’re out of work:
    You’ll have no more wars to report,
No more victories to announce.
    You’re out of war work forever.”

Let the Nations Get Their Fill of the Ugly Truth

1-4 Doom to Murder City—
    full of lies, bursting with loot, addicted to violence!
Horns blaring, wheels clattering,
    horses rearing, chariots lurching,
Horsemen galloping,
    brandishing swords and spears,
Dead bodies rotting in the street,
    corpses stacked like cordwood,
Bodies in every gutter and alley,
    clogging every intersection!
And whores! Whores without end!
    Whore City,
Fatally seductive, you’re the Witch of Seduction,
    luring nations to their ruin with your evil spells.

* * *

5-7 “I’m your enemy, Whore Nineveh—
    I, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
I’ll strip you of your seductive silk robes
    and expose you on the world stage.
I’ll let the nations get their fill of the ugly truth
    of who you really are and have been all along.
I’ll pelt you with dog dung
    and place you on a pedestal: ‘Slut on Exhibit.’
Everyone who sees you will gag and say,
    ‘Nineveh’s a pigsty:
What on earth did we ever see in her?
    Who would give her a second look? Ugh!’”

Past the Point of No Return

8-13 Do you think you’re superior to Egyptian Thebes,
    proudly invincible on the River Nile,
Protected by the great River,
    walled in by the River, secure?
Ethiopia stood guard to the south,
    Egypt to the north.
Put and Libya, strong friends,
    were ready to step in and help.
But you know what happened to her:
    The whole city was marched off to a refugee camp,
Her babies smashed to death
    in public view on the streets,
Her prize leaders auctioned off,
    her celebrities put in chain gangs.
Expect the same treatment, Nineveh.
    You’ll soon be staggering like a bunch of drunks,
Wondering what hit you,
    looking for a place to sleep it off.
All your forts are like peach trees,
    the lush peaches ripe, ready for the picking.
One shake of the tree and they fall
    straight into hungry mouths.
Face it: Your warriors are wimps.
    You’re sitting ducks.
Your borders are gaping doors, inviting
    your enemies in. And who’s to stop them?

* * *

14-15 Store up water for the siege.
    Shore up your defenses.
Get down to basics: Work the clay
    and make bricks.
Sorry. Too late.
    Enemy fire will burn you up.
Swords will cut you to pieces.
    You’ll be chewed up as if by locusts.

* * *

15-17 Yes, as if by locusts—a fitting fate,
    for you yourselves are a locust plague.
You’ve multiplied shops and shopkeepers—
    more buyers and sellers than stars in the sky!
A plague of locusts, cleaning out the neighborhood
    and then flying off.
Your bureaucrats are locusts,
    your brokers and bankers are locusts.
Early on, they’re all at your service,
    full of smiles and promises,
But later when you return with questions or complaints,
    you’ll find they’ve flown off and are nowhere to be found.

18-19 King of Assyria! Your shepherd-leaders,
    in charge of caring for your people,
Are busy doing everything else but.
    They’re not doing their job,
And your people are scattered and lost.
    There’s no one to look after them.
You’re past the point of no return.
    Your wound is fatal.
When the story of your fate gets out,
    the whole world will applaud and cry “Encore!”
Your cruel evil has seeped
    into every nook and cranny of the world.
    Everyone has felt it and suffered.

A prophecy(A) concerning Nineveh.(B) The book of the vision(C) of Nahum the Elkoshite.

The Lord’s Anger Against Nineveh

The Lord is a jealous(D) and avenging God;
    the Lord takes vengeance(E) and is filled with wrath.
The Lord takes vengeance on his foes
    and vents his wrath against his enemies.(F)
The Lord is slow to anger(G) but great in power;
    the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished.(H)
His way is in the whirlwind(I) and the storm,(J)
    and clouds(K) are the dust of his feet.
He rebukes(L) the sea and dries it up;(M)
    he makes all the rivers run dry.
Bashan and Carmel(N) wither
    and the blossoms of Lebanon fade.
The mountains quake(O) before him
    and the hills melt away.(P)
The earth trembles(Q) at his presence,
    the world and all who live in it.(R)
Who can withstand(S) his indignation?
    Who can endure(T) his fierce anger?(U)
His wrath is poured out like fire;(V)
    the rocks are shattered(W) before him.

The Lord is good,(X)
    a refuge in times of trouble.(Y)
He cares for(Z) those who trust in him,(AA)
    but with an overwhelming flood(AB)
he will make an end of Nineveh;
    he will pursue his foes into the realm of darkness.

Whatever they plot(AC) against the Lord
    he will bring[a] to an end;
    trouble will not come a second time.
10 They will be entangled among thorns(AD)
    and drunk(AE) from their wine;
    they will be consumed like dry stubble.[b](AF)
11 From you, Nineveh, has one come forth
    who plots evil against the Lord
    and devises wicked plans.

12 This is what the Lord says:

“Although they have allies and are numerous,
    they will be destroyed(AG) and pass away.
Although I have afflicted you, Judah,
    I will afflict you no more.(AH)
13 Now I will break their yoke(AI) from your neck
    and tear your shackles away.”(AJ)

14 The Lord has given a command concerning you, Nineveh:
    “You will have no descendants to bear your name.(AK)
I will destroy the images(AL) and idols
    that are in the temple of your gods.
I will prepare your grave,(AM)
    for you are vile.”

15 Look, there on the mountains,
    the feet of one who brings good news,(AN)
    who proclaims peace!(AO)
Celebrate your festivals,(AP) Judah,
    and fulfill your vows.
No more will the wicked invade you;(AQ)
    they will be completely destroyed.[c]

Nineveh to Fall

[d]An attacker(AR) advances against you, Nineveh.
    Guard the fortress,
    watch the road,
    brace yourselves,
    marshal all your strength!

The Lord will restore(AS) the splendor(AT) of Jacob
    like the splendor of Israel,
though destroyers have laid them waste
    and have ruined their vines.

The shields of the soldiers are red;
    the warriors are clad in scarlet.(AU)
The metal on the chariots flashes
    on the day they are made ready;
    the spears of juniper are brandished.[e]
The chariots(AV) storm through the streets,
    rushing back and forth through the squares.
They look like flaming torches;
    they dart about like lightning.

Nineveh summons her picked troops,
    yet they stumble(AW) on their way.
They dash to the city wall;
    the protective shield is put in place.
The river gates(AX) are thrown open
    and the palace collapses.
It is decreed[f] that Nineveh
    be exiled and carried away.
Her female slaves moan(AY) like doves
    and beat on their breasts.(AZ)
Nineveh is like a pool
    whose water is draining away.
“Stop! Stop!” they cry,
    but no one turns back.
Plunder the silver!
    Plunder the gold!
The supply is endless,
    the wealth from all its treasures!
10 She is pillaged, plundered, stripped!
    Hearts melt,(BA) knees give way,
    bodies tremble, every face grows pale.(BB)

11 Where now is the lions’ den,(BC)
    the place where they fed their young,
where the lion and lioness went,
    and the cubs, with nothing to fear?
12 The lion killed(BD) enough for his cubs
    and strangled the prey for his mate,
filling his lairs(BE) with the kill
    and his dens with the prey.(BF)

13 “I am against(BG) you,”
    declares the Lord Almighty.
“I will burn up your chariots in smoke,(BH)
    and the sword(BI) will devour your young lions.
    I will leave you no prey on the earth.
The voices of your messengers
    will no longer be heard.”(BJ)

Woe to Nineveh

Woe to the city of blood,(BK)
    full of lies,(BL)
full of plunder,
    never without victims!
The crack of whips,
    the clatter of wheels,
galloping horses
    and jolting chariots!
Charging cavalry,
    flashing swords
    and glittering spears!
Many casualties,
    piles of dead,
bodies without number,
    people stumbling over the corpses(BM)
all because of the wanton lust of a prostitute,
    alluring, the mistress of sorceries,(BN)
who enslaved nations by her prostitution(BO)
    and peoples by her witchcraft.

“I am against(BP) you,” declares the Lord Almighty.
    “I will lift your skirts(BQ) over your face.
I will show the nations your nakedness(BR)
    and the kingdoms your shame.
I will pelt you with filth,(BS)
    I will treat you with contempt(BT)
    and make you a spectacle.(BU)
All who see you will flee(BV) from you and say,
    ‘Nineveh(BW) is in ruins(BX)—who will mourn for her?’(BY)
    Where can I find anyone to comfort(BZ) you?”

Are you better than(CA) Thebes,(CB)
    situated on the Nile,(CC)
    with water around her?
The river was her defense,
    the waters her wall.
Cush[g](CD) and Egypt were her boundless strength;
    Put(CE) and Libya(CF) were among her allies.
10 Yet she was taken captive(CG)
    and went into exile.
Her infants were dashed(CH) to pieces
    at every street corner.
Lots(CI) were cast for her nobles,
    and all her great men were put in chains.(CJ)
11 You too will become drunk;(CK)
    you will go into hiding(CL)
    and seek refuge from the enemy.

12 All your fortresses are like fig trees
    with their first ripe fruit;(CM)
when they are shaken,
    the figs(CN) fall into the mouth of the eater.
13 Look at your troops—
    they are all weaklings.(CO)
The gates(CP) of your land
    are wide open to your enemies;
    fire has consumed the bars of your gates.(CQ)

14 Draw water for the siege,(CR)
    strengthen your defenses!(CS)
Work the clay,
    tread the mortar,
    repair the brickwork!
15 There the fire(CT) will consume you;
    the sword(CU) will cut you down—
    they will devour you like a swarm of locusts.
Multiply like grasshoppers,
    multiply like locusts!(CV)
16 You have increased the number of your merchants
    till they are more numerous than the stars in the sky,
but like locusts(CW) they strip the land
    and then fly away.
17 Your guards are like locusts,(CX)
    your officials like swarms of locusts
    that settle in the walls on a cold day—
but when the sun appears they fly away,
    and no one knows where.

18 King of Assyria, your shepherds[h] slumber;(CY)
    your nobles lie down to rest.(CZ)
Your people are scattered(DA) on the mountains
    with no one to gather them.
19 Nothing can heal you;(DB)
    your wound is fatal.
All who hear the news about you
    clap their hands(DC) at your fall,
for who has not felt
    your endless cruelty?(DD)

Footnotes

  1. Nahum 1:9 Or What do you foes plot against the Lord? / He will bring it
  2. Nahum 1:10 The meaning of the Hebrew for this verse is uncertain.
  3. Nahum 1:15 In Hebrew texts this verse (1:15) is numbered 2:1.
  4. Nahum 2:1 In Hebrew texts 2:1-13 is numbered 2:2-14.
  5. Nahum 2:3 Hebrew; Septuagint and Syriac ready; / the horsemen rush to and fro.
  6. Nahum 2:7 The meaning of the Hebrew for this word is uncertain.
  7. Nahum 3:9 That is, the upper Nile region
  8. Nahum 3:18 That is, rulers